Blogger Deathwatch 2012: Still alive!

Hello! No need to send sympathy cards to my mother (though she always loves getting flowers). I’m still alive! I am living on coffee and TV dinners, but I am still alive. I am digging my way through lots and lots of web design work. So busy! So exhausted! So popular! It is horrible in the best way. I officially stopped taking on new clients for my web design business last week because it is all too much. I will blog again, someday, when my right shoulder stops hurting from all the mouse usage I’ve subjected it to. No joke.

Exciting and not-so-exciting things that have happened to me in the past month:

  • I got a new phone and it is awesome! I want to snuggle up with it at night and sometimes I do. For real. It is a Samsung Galaxy S II Epic Touch which is a name longer than John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, though less musical. It plays Netflix videos! It can take my heart rate! It can identify songs playing at the grocery store! It kind of freaks me out, all the things it can do. How can my phone do these things? It’s hovering over that line between significantly advanced technology and magic. MAGIC.
  • Someone spent $1617.48 with my business debit card and it wasn’t me! The last time I spent over $1600 in one places was when I bought a car 6 years ago, so I’m sort of jealous they went all Big Spender without me. I reported the fraud, but couldn’t access any money in that account for a week. Also, I only ever use that card at grocery stores, so someone got the number with a skimmer, which quite honestly freaks me out. I will never buy groceries again! Or…actually…I set up a business account at a bank that doesn’t require me to make a debit card purchase every month to avoid maintenance fees. Screw you, Bank of America!
  • I am moving in a month and sort of pissed about it because it’s the first time I’m moving not because I want to, but because I’m fleeing my neighbors. I hate my asshole neighbors more than I hate having to move all my crap, and if you’ve ever moved than you know that is a hell of a lot of hate. I’m heading 1.5 miles north to a smaller, more expensive apartment where they presumably don’t smoke pot indoors, and the rental manager reads my blog so I’m pretty sure she’s got my back if they do. That also makes her the only blog reader who knows my gross annual income. I hope she was impressed! Probably not.
  • On the bright side, I have been truly dedicated to my walking routine for the past month because I know I need to be in shape to survive my move. I’m moving from the second floor to the second floor, and I don’t know how my poor little knees are going to handle it. I’m guessing “not well.” Not well, for the win. That said, I weigh within one pound of what I did in January, so I’ve been maintaining my weight really well this year, better than any year in recent history, or perhaps ever.
  • And perhaps the most thrilling news, in 20 days it will have been an entire year since Java Bean broke a glass! Let’s hope he makes it. Granted, this achievement has less to do with a change in Java Bean’s behavior as it does with the fact that he’s trained me never to leave glasses out on the table before I go to bed. I should probably get the round of applause instead.

That’s all for now. I shall return again someday. Maybe we can teach my phone to blog for me by reading my mind and converting my thoughts into well-formed, humorous entries. There’s an app for that, right?

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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Leigh • June 1, 2012 at 8:14 pm

You sound happy and busy-I’m glad. I was getting worried and was going to give it another week and then email and ask if you were okay.

We have the same phone-yeah!

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JenFul • June 1, 2012 at 8:17 pm

@Leigh – I think it’s all the exclamation points. They make every sentence seem happier! (See.)

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Marcella • June 1, 2012 at 9:07 pm

We missed you!

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Merry • June 1, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I’m glad you’re moving. I never met your neighbors, and even I hated them. Two moves back, went from a much hated 2nd floor apt. to a 3 story townhouse, and I broke down and hired help. Two guys. One turned out to be very nice, and the other guy — named Jesse — looked like he belonged on the cover of a romance novel.( okay, without the bared chest and windblown hair, more like from a cowboy romance novel). That made moving much more interesting and much less painful.

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Natalie • June 1, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I always hire people to help me move. Don’t you? But even so, you still have to do a lot of packing and supervising yourself. Actually once work paid for a move and they did all the packing and unpacking and everything — but it cost several thousands of dollars which I would never pay if it was coming out of my wallet.

Oh, about the shoulder. This is genuinely serious. I had RSI for years, had to leave work and not go near a computer for a couple of years, it got so bad I couldn’t lift my arm to dress myself. A really really horrible time. For years. Don’t just think it will get better, while you continue to do the kind of work that is causing the pain. Go see someone. I ended up with physio, acupuncure, laser therapy … well you know what that is like, spending years trying to get rid of chronic pain! I know you have been through a lot already so I am feeling a bit scared for you. Please please do something before it gets worse; this is your livelihood and your life.

Well, that was a bit of a downer. But I am serious.

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Kalyn • June 1, 2012 at 10:38 pm

I am not sure whether to congratulate you on being so talented that you’re now too busy or console you on being too stressed. But obviously a lot of people recognize your brilliance.

Good job on the walking; I am trying hard too!

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Jen • June 2, 2012 at 6:43 am

May I just say you are a superhero for sticking to your exercise routine and maintaining your weight through all of this, especially with munchie-inducing fumes floating up through your floor?

Do you know any good web designers who would pay you a finders’ fee for referrals? Maybe you could get paid AND do a little less work.

Hope the shoulder gets better soon.

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Debbi • June 2, 2012 at 8:45 am

There’s an app for EVERYTHING! Which one IDs the music, I think I need that one. =)

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JenFul • June 2, 2012 at 11:36 am

@Debbi – It’s called Shazam. A song has to have been entered into its database to be recognized, but it’s been able to name about 90% of the stuff I’ve Shazamed.

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Jackie • June 2, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Glad you’re moving. Your neighbors sounded awful. Let me know if you need help with the move. You should come to Jazzercise when you get bored with walking. There’s a new studio on Weaver Dairy next to Family Fare where Bagels on the Hill and The Pig are.

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Debbi Does Dinner Healthy • June 2, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Technically John Jacob Jingelheimer Schmidt IS longer.

Stinks that you have to move because of your pot smoking neighbors! Find a place with a nice running trail by it!

Props to Java Bean! You’re going to have some kind of celebration, right? Maybe smash a glass in his honor?

Nice that you are TOO busy to take on more customers! Good for you!

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FreeRange Pamela • June 3, 2012 at 9:23 am

Congrats on moving and the walking! I’m sure you’re going to be so much more at peace in your new place. I remember moving for similar reasons, though I loved my landlord so I felt a bit guilty. When I got all set up in my new place, though, I was very happy.

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Kim • June 4, 2012 at 5:53 am

You’re alive and…well! Congrats on maintaining your weight. That is a huge achievement. Good luck with your move!! Go Java Bean!

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sharla • June 4, 2012 at 12:19 pm

glad your back, missed you.

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Sheryl • June 5, 2012 at 11:00 am

I had the shoulder issue — what I did was switch the mouse to my left hand, even though I am right-handed. That was at least 10 years ago, and I never developed a problem in my left shoulder, and the right got better once I wasn’t doing the mouse as well as writing with that hand. You might want to try that.

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Shauna • June 5, 2012 at 11:49 am

Oh man that all sounds crazy hectic but glad the new phone is rockin :)

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Sue B • June 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

The $400 (plus $80 in tips) for two professional movers and their truck was some of the best money we have spent in our entire marriage. Easily worth twice that much.
Hire movers. You are a grown up, you deserve it.

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NewMe • June 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Last December, someone put almost $2,000 worth of clothing purchases on my business credit card in Saudi Arabia while I was fast asleep in Ontario, Canada. I feel your pain. Of course, my credit card was “safely” sitting in my wallet all the while. Ha!

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NoryRoth • June 9, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Sorry you have to move again. Still, it is an excuse to purge the excess, and get organized. Also, when you re-assemble your IKEA desk, you will remember to put ALL of the screws in place so that you have it fully assembled this time!

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schmei • June 20, 2012 at 10:41 am

I have some catching up to do on your blog because I was just… moving. To get away from asshole neighbors. Who smoked pot indoors. Did I mention they kept doing this after I frequently reminded them that we just brought home a newborn baby who was breathing their pot-smoke air? Hate.

All that is to say that: 1) I completely sympathize. 2) either get a lot of help, or hire movers. We did way too much of this on our own (and you can hire movers to do, say, only the furniture for a few hundred bucks), and 3) You will be happier in your new space!

Good luck. Moving sucks. But not as much as living with jerks.

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JenFul • June 25, 2012 at 11:15 pm

@schmei – I’m glad you got away from your pothead neighbors! I sign my new lease tomorrow, so my own exodus is imminent. I’m very excited!

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Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, chronic headache sufferer, (former?) weight-loss inspiration, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She was formerly known as PastaQueen. You can contact her if you promise to be nice.

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