An exorcist gave me chocolate

The Exorcist

To be honest, I normally tune out during midnight mass. I only go to church once a year on Christmas Eve to be with my Mom. Although my body is there my mind is usually somewhere else. I’m also still annoyed that they changed some of the words in the call and response sections of the mass. Is nothing sacred?

So, there I was in la-la land, daydreaming away during the sermon, when I suddenly came careening back to earth because I swear to God I think I just heard the priest say he was an exorcist. (And when I swear to God in church I really mean it.) So I lean towards my mother and whisper, “Did Father Vince just say he’s an exorcist?” and she confirmed that yes, Father Vince is the official exorcist for Indianapolis. Who knew? Well, anyone who watches Paranormal Witness on the SyFy network knew, because Father Vince was recently featured in Season 3, Episode 19, The Exorcist. And he got 500 new Twitter followers after it aired. You can watch the full episode online right now if you’re interested.

What does any of this have to do with midnight mass? I cannot remember, but he worked it into the sermon somehow. Father Vince is actually a rather good speaker who walks around the church as he preaches, asking the congregation questions and drawing people into the sermon even if they’re trying to tune out like I do. Last year he handed out candy to a few people, including me, though I can’t remember how this related to the sermon either.

That’s the reason I can now say an exorcist gave me chocolate. I’ll go cross that off the bucket list.

Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away
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Natalie • December 30, 2013 at 7:26 pm

I have nothing to compete with this story.

Once I …. nup, nothing.

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Kathy W. • December 31, 2013 at 4:58 am

I find that Crisp Kringle kind of creepy. But I would eat it anyway, because hey, free chocolate!

also: “The power of Crisp Kringle compels you!”

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JenFul • December 31, 2013 at 1:40 pm

@Kathy W. – I actually forgot I had the Crisp Kringly in my purse until I found it a few days later and it had melted into a deformed shape and sort of melded with the foil. Didn’t stop me from eating it though!

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Rebecca • January 1, 2014 at 3:25 pm

Hmm–where’s my list? That is definitely a new one to me! Funny!

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Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, chronic headache sufferer, (former?) weight-loss inspiration, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She was formerly known as PastaQueen. You can contact her if you promise to be nice.

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