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I was almost killed on the highway this week

Photo by j-ster / by BY-NC-SA 2.0

I was almost killed on the highway this week.

I was driving in the right-hand lane of I-40/I-85 doing the speed limit in attempt to avoid the crazy, madcap maneuvers that transpire constantly on this four-lane highway. Suddenly the driver of a white sedan two lanes over seemed to realize he was about to miss his exit, so he swerved across several lanes of traffic on a direct collision course for me. Why go to the next exit and turn around when you could endanger the lives of everyone on the road instead, right? I jerked the steering wheel to the right, slammed on my brakes, and somehow managed to barely end up on the exit ramp he’d been aiming for, though I’d traveled way outside the painted lines. I didn’t check, but I’m fairly certain I left skid marks on the road.

How did we avoid a collision? I do not know. If I’d been fiddling with my MP3 player at the time, we probably would have crashed. Thankfully I [...]

Bump

Whenever I see a sign like this, I want to give someone a fist bump. I blame the Obamas.

I always knew this parking lot was ripe for a car accident. I’m just glad it wasn’t me.

Photo by Wonderlane / by CC BY 2.0

A few minutes ago I was walking out of Ace Hardware carrying a replacement air filter for the one I hadn’t changed in, um, over a year. (I like my air dusty!) That’s when I saw the green van creeping down the aisle of the parking lot and the white car slooooooowly backing toward the van’s side door. I cringed and stopped right in the middle of the road (real smart, Jennette), hoping the white car would stop, stop, PLEASE STOP! Then I heard that familiar CRUNCH sound like an aluminum can being squashed. (Yeah, it was all too familiar. Blame my 17-year-old self. And my 29-year-old self, too.)

It’s rather horrible to know something bad is about to happen but to have no way of stopping it. I really feel for people in movies about time travel who can’t stop airplane crashes or the deaths of loved ones. I guess they can’t stop minor fender benders either or stop you from misplacing your keys.

When the driver of [...]

A weekend of superlatives

I drove up and down the east coast of this fine continent last weekend to attend the FitBloggin’ conference in Baltimore. It was a weekend for superlative moments, that’s for sure, which is why I made a list of them.

The most it’s-a-small-world-moment

This conversation with Skinny Emmie:

JenFul: Where are you from?

Skinny Emmie: Lexington, Kentucky

JenFul: I lived there when I was at the University of Kentucky!

Skinny Emmie: I went to UK, too!

JenFul: Did you live in a dorm?

Skinny Emmie: Yes, Boyd Hall.

JenFul: SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! *I* lived in Boyd Hall. What years?

Skinny Emmie: I started in 1999.

JenFul: GET OUT! I lived there from 1998-2000.

Skinny Emmie: No way!

JenFul: We lived in the same dorm at the same time! I was on the second floor.

Skinny Emmie: I was on the fourth! Do you know So Anne So?

JenFul: I went to high school with So Anne So!

We also figured out that we were both getting fat off of the same selection of Ben & Jerry’s available at the Blazer Xpress at the same time. And she ran out of [...]

By land or by air? (Definitely not by sea)

I debated whether to drive or fly to FitBloggin’ this weekend. (I suppose going by sea could have been an option if I owned a boat or a hovercraft or one of those duck boats, but I don’t.) According to Google Maps it is a 5hr 38min drive from Chapel Hill, NC to Baltimore, MD, which is about the upper limit of time I’m willing (or rather the headache is willing) to drive in a day. The flight from Raleigh to Baltimore is approximately 1 hour, but when you add in the time driving to the airport, parking, going through security, getting their early just in case, getting on the plane, getting off the plane, waiting for the curbside checked baggage to be unloaded at the gate because the overhead baggage compartment is too small on regional flights, and taking a shuttle to the hotel, I think OMG why would I ever want to fly? If I drive I can come and go when I want to, and I don’t have to wake up at [...]

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Chocolate & Vicodin: My Quest for Relief from the Headache that Wouldn't Go Away Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir

Jennette Fulda tells stories to the Internet about her life as a smartass, writer, chronic headache sufferer, (former?) weight-loss inspiration, and overall nice person (who is silently judging you). She was formerly known as PastaQueen. You can contact her if you promise to be nice.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for keyboards ruined by coffee spit-takes or forehead wrinkles caused by deep thought.

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I left a voicemail for my younger brother last week which he never got because he doesn't check it. When I asked him about it, he was like, "Why didn't you text me?"

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I tend to stay at home a lot, but 21 days stuck in my apartment would drive me crazy.

Buy Experiences, Not Things - The Atlantic
Money can buy happiness if you spend it on experiences, not things.

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